Selfish??

I sat  through a presentation tonight by some Marines and ex-Marines and it got me thinking about of a lot of things. Partly because they directly brought up my Dad's old unit which just got deployed. But I can't decide which I would rather have, I know it doesn't really matter at all, but part of me is glad my dad isn't around to be gone for 16 months, because I think, no I know I would give up another 16 months to have him around for the rest of my life, but part of me it glad I don't have to worry about while he's over there.  And there isn't any guarantee that if he was still around that he would still be able to do all the dad things. So am I being selfish that I want him back to give him up again, or that I'm glad he's not here so I don't have to worry about losing him again.